I couldn't believe how she stared, nor could I explain it.
Seriously. I didn't have my glasses on and I didn't film her, but I couldn't begin understand how and why she was looking at me directly. That directly.
That pretty? In a strait on uninterrupted stare. To where I wouldn't recognize her untill the next time we are both there. Honestly, dark brunette, like the prettiest in the world. I double checked the film, she might be in in if it was her first arriving and sitting down while I was filming.
I made a second series of camera tests at the same spot as yesterday that I still can't because my hair appears in the shot. What I was for was to find subjects in relation to the architectural perspectives of the three buildings and from that build planes, which again went great. I tracked handheld in between the three and in between the subjects, it only being that when I was turning on the camera my hair appears in the shot. The glare from the screen makes it difficult to begin the film and to stop the recording. I found shade to stop the recording. Actually there were very beautiful women in the film. It was the first day of hot sunbathing. After filming I decided to get a tan after being in the weightlifting room all winter. My muscles were just sore enough to feel the warmth of the sun.
The warmth of the sun with the past six months of weightlifting felt fantastic. And then to have here there for a little while when I looked up. She's a model, but in an actress way. But she looked as thought I was supposed to know who she was, and to be truthful, I possibly could; I've been on this side of the city too long, so you wouldn't need to be from Harvard Square, that would be the last place I would see someone every day. I wasn't busy and didn't need to specificlly be anywhere, 'but I can't explain how I could have let her down, and yet she was staring as though we had to be somewhere. And then thinking every minute since she left that I would have taken her anywhere.
My laptop need recharging after she left, so I didn't retake the film. I talked to an artist after she left who was using water colour pencils, which was interesting, and an easy question. I had asked her what medium she was using after watching the horizontal strokes and her dipping the pencils in water. An artist I had spoken to earlier this week was using regular colour pencils and said that she could blend, which I didn't fully realize.
I didn't speak to the sunbather, who will probaly recognize me before I realize its her untill were both back in the same seats.
I have to press the record button without appearing on the screen, which won't be har to learn.
Now I'm wondering who she is. If she's seen me often walk by or if she's seen me from her window.
Just to stare untill she wants to tell whatever it might happen to be, but to have her stare back like that was everything.
The tan is ok, the weight lift is ok, although I don't really see that the weightlift is yet good enough for someone that young and pretty.
I would promise her anything if she would do that again.
Lo.Ve untill Lo:Ve
-------------------------below, Yesterday filming on Massachusetts Avenue:
It could have have been her. I was right in the middle of thinking that if I ever see her again one reason would be if she's busy trying to stay here, which still is to say that I didn't see her last night. It could have been her voice in her friends car and she could have been detained last night while trying to work things out so that she could stay here, but in any event, she wasn't there, so of course needless to say, if she does, we don't know each other well enough so that she would have been there. By tommorrow, it will have been a week since I've seen her. I could have effected more in the meantime. Last night I didn't lift. Had she had been there I would have lifted, either that or I would have asked her to take a walk through the the Square, maybe from Harvard towards MIT.
If it wasn't her, could it have been the girls from this afternoon's camera tests.
After lifting, I was sore. my biceps sore from curling the 160-170, but I pulled down 240 to tone the biceps and triceps. One repetition at a time fifteen times. I made the 210 bench press twice by the end of the night and increased the in between incline press to 140 and honestly, with my size, that's heavy for the incline.
And then someone from a car said in a very pretty college student voice,
"I like you hair."
I just cut it. I have to comb it alot because of how she feathered it.
My hair is why I can't use the camera tests from this afternoon. It was the first tanning after noon of the season, so I arbitrarily decided upon the two sunbathers on my left and right and pivoted the webcam on me knee. The film is "Great", but while I was framing the shots will the newer camera. My hair was filmed in the frameline. I can't use them because my hair appears in the shot. Ok honestly the two young women were exellant models as far as the work is concerned. They were just practice shots. The two women that I'm super attracted to were way on the other end of the tanning area and although they do appear, they're not the subject. That is not to say they weren't well posed- they didn't squirm while on camera. I'd rather date the other two that were distant to the camera. But they were supermodelish- I could owe them a coffee.
The pan from one "sunbather-model" to the other was good; I changed seats by tracking hand held after the first model sat up, pivoting the one shot while moving.
But, the two I was interested in left at the same time as I did, so I got to say Hi when I was throwing out my coffee cup. The film is on You Tube but unlisted; my other webcam with kaliedescope effects needs repair.
But I knew they were only going to be practice camera tests that were to be refilmed. It was only because of the weather. I'd like to film either the two brunettes or film the thin blond supermodel again- I'd just say that I'm a film poet and like spontaneity. I can "get the shot" with it on my knee.
Whoever likes my hair could have been anyone and the sunbathers probably won't become "my reader" right away.
I was hoping that Monica would transcend her "business major", but she wasn't there Tuesday when i thought I give ther a copy of my novel through its webpage- you won't believe this. I was thinking of bringing her something and realllly won't be going shopping untill next week, so I put a Mercury dime in my briefcase because I couldn't think of when I'd be shopping and see earrings or things like that. I thought of roses already. There happenned to be a Mercury dime in my desk, so I put it in my briefcase where I keep lubricant.
There's lubricant in there. Why there's a prophyllactic I really can't fathom, but the lubricant I can.
If I see her tommorrow, it would only make sense that she's trying to stay. She could find me one or twice and still have decided to go- if it were in my power I would have asked her to stay with me indefinitely, as frequently as she wanted- which should have been tacit- no seriously, hang out or whatever, nothing worse can happen to me in that respect in that I'm divorced.